02-04-2012, 01:42 PM
| #1681 |
| Humble & Awesome   Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia
Posts: 49,900
|  The wife's death came as a great shock. She never saw me sneaking up on her with the toaster in the bath. |
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02-05-2012, 12:28 AM
| #1682 |
  Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Australia
Posts: 1,828
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__________________ "I'm not the sort of person to engage in cleverly sarcastic comments and smart one-liners, and even if I were I wouldn't waste one on you". |
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02-05-2012, 04:11 AM
| #1683 | |
  Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,438
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02-05-2012, 10:42 AM
| #1684 | |
| Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia
Posts: 49,900
| Quote:
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02-05-2012, 12:30 PM
| #1685 |
| Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Australia
Posts: 1,828
| I got sacked from my job as a bingo caller the other day."Apparently "A meal for two with a terrible view" isn't the best way to announce number 69!
__________________ "I'm not the sort of person to engage in cleverly sarcastic comments and smart one-liners, and even if I were I wouldn't waste one on you". |
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02-09-2012, 12:19 PM
| #1686 |
| Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia
Posts: 49,900
| Abdul's difficult choice...... NSFW: Click here to see hidden stuff  |
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02-09-2012, 01:36 PM
| #1687 |
| Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia
Posts: 49,900
| I hate auto-correct! I just sent a text to my Nan asking for sex tonight by mistake! I meant tomorrow!! |
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02-09-2012, 01:37 PM
| #1688 |
| Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia
Posts: 49,900
| I drew a cock on my mates cheek, nobody else at the funeral seen the funny side of it. |
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02-09-2012, 01:37 PM
| #1689 |
| Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia
Posts: 49,900
| I saw a man at the beach yelling "Help, shark! Help!" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him. |
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02-11-2012, 10:04 AM
| #1690 |
| Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Australia
Posts: 1,828
| Welsh guy persuades his new english girfriend to try anal sex for the first time. He says "If it hurts too much, yell the safety word twice & I'll stop."She says "OK, what's the safety word?" "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysili ogogogoch."
__________________ "I'm not the sort of person to engage in cleverly sarcastic comments and smart one-liners, and even if I were I wouldn't waste one on you". |
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02-11-2012, 10:05 AM
| #1691 |
| Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Australia
Posts: 1,828
| Just had a Valentines verse rejected by Moonpig! WTF is wrong with . . . . "Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Bend over love, You're about to get fisted!!"?
__________________ "I'm not the sort of person to engage in cleverly sarcastic comments and smart one-liners, and even if I were I wouldn't waste one on you". |
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02-12-2012, 03:16 AM
| #1692 | |
| Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia
Posts: 49,900
| Quote:
Probably the fact that you're warning her ?...... | |
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02-12-2012, 05:32 AM
| #1693 |
| Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,438
| Perhaps this will offend someone, as nothing else has...  |
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02-12-2012, 09:48 AM
| #1694 |
| Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia
Posts: 49,900
| That's how mine feel at times.... |
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02-12-2012, 10:04 AM
| #1695 |
| Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia
Posts: 49,900
| I've dedicated my life to getting under age prostitutes off the streets. For an hour or so usually. |
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