Let’s Offend Someone…!!! - Page 61

The Monk · 10-18-2010, 11:42 AM

What's 9 and 1/2 inches long and satisfies most cunts?

An ipad

The Monk · 10-18-2010, 11:42 AM

I've just seen a nigger in Tesco serving himself using the "Self-Service Checkout",

Or, as it's more commonly known, "The Door".

The Monk · 10-18-2010, 11:43 AM

If you have a shitty job don't lick your fingers at lunch time.

The Monk · 10-18-2010, 11:43 AM

Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?

No...

But I have tried pissing with a boner!
Don't see me making a song about it!

The Monk · 10-18-2010, 11:48 AM

British rescue operation.

Use stealth tactics to get into the enemy building. Use silenced weapons and gas to disable combatants and avoid detection. Rescue victim quickly and without taking any casualties.

American rescue operation.

Roll up in Hummers, because they are cool. Throw grenades at building until everyone inside is dead, because explosions are fucking cool. Drag corpse of person you just 'rescued' out of the rubble and stick American flag in them. High five anyone in your platoon still alive.

The Monk · 10-18-2010, 11:51 AM

What do you call one white person surrounded by 3000 black people?

A prison Warden.

The Monk · 10-18-2010, 11:53 AM

Q. what's the difference between a Muslim and E.T.?

A. E.T looked better.smelled nicer, didn't take benefits and agreed to fuck off home....

The Monk · 10-18-2010, 12:18 PM

It appears George Michael's forever the entertainer, even in prison ...

He's started an 'Open Mike' session every night with his cellmates.

The Monk · 10-18-2010, 12:19 PM

A young lad was watching the TV and asks his dad;

"Why do you never see Father Ted shagging young boys or planting bombs for the IRA?"

"Oh that's because he's not a real priest son."

The Monk · 10-18-2010, 12:22 PM

AMAZING WORD TRICKS

A. Did you know that the word "race car" spelled backward still spells "race car"?

B. Did you know that "eat" is the only word that if you take the 1st letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense "ate"?

C. And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants" and add just a few more letters, it spells out: "Go home you fucking free-loading, benefit-grabbing, kid-producing, violent, non-English speaking assholes and take those other fucking hairy-faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, goat-fucking, raggedy-ass bastards with you"?

How weird is that???

The Monk · 10-18-2010, 12:27 PM

SKY NEWS - Deadly Storm Strikes Quake-Hit Haiti

Got to give God Credit, when he sets out to kill niggers, he does it with style!

The Monk · 10-18-2010, 12:30 PM

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a rock?

You cant fuck a rock!

The Monk · 10-18-2010, 12:31 PM

My wife used to just nod and smile at my Bukkake jokes, mainly because she didn't know what it meant ...

But then one day, it hit her.

The Monk · 10-18-2010, 12:32 PM

What is most men's idea of marriage?

A fucking expensive way to get your laundry done for free.

The Monk · 10-18-2010, 12:32 PM

NEWS: Paris Hilton was denied entry into Japan following her guilty plea for cocaine possession.

Hilton said she was upset that she couldn't get into Japan, and that she will now go to Tokyo instead.

10-18-2010, 11:42 AM	#901
The Monk Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia Posts: 49,900	What's 9 and 1/2 inches long and satisfies most cunts? An ipad

10-18-2010, 11:42 AM	#902
The Monk Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia Posts: 49,900	I've just seen a nigger in Tesco serving himself using the "Self-Service Checkout", Or, as it's more commonly known, "The Door".

10-18-2010, 11:43 AM	#903
The Monk Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia Posts: 49,900	If you have a shitty job don't lick your fingers at lunch time.

10-18-2010, 11:43 AM	#904
The Monk Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia Posts: 49,900	Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart? No... But I have tried pissing with a boner! Don't see me making a song about it!

10-18-2010, 11:48 AM	#905
The Monk Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia Posts: 49,900	British rescue operation. Use stealth tactics to get into the enemy building. Use silenced weapons and gas to disable combatants and avoid detection. Rescue victim quickly and without taking any casualties. American rescue operation. Roll up in Hummers, because they are cool. Throw grenades at building until everyone inside is dead, because explosions are fucking cool. Drag corpse of person you just 'rescued' out of the rubble and stick American flag in them. High five anyone in your platoon still alive.

10-18-2010, 11:51 AM	#906
The Monk Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia Posts: 49,900	What do you call one white person surrounded by 3000 black people? A prison Warden.

10-18-2010, 11:53 AM	#907
The Monk Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia Posts: 49,900	Q. what's the difference between a Muslim and E.T.? A. E.T looked better.smelled nicer, didn't take benefits and agreed to fuck off home....

10-18-2010, 12:18 PM	#908
The Monk Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia Posts: 49,900	It appears George Michael's forever the entertainer, even in prison ... He's started an 'Open Mike' session every night with his cellmates.

10-18-2010, 12:19 PM	#909
The Monk Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia Posts: 49,900	A young lad was watching the TV and asks his dad; "Why do you never see Father Ted shagging young boys or planting bombs for the IRA?" "Oh that's because he's not a real priest son."

10-18-2010, 12:22 PM	#910
The Monk Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia Posts: 49,900	AMAZING WORD TRICKS A. Did you know that the word "race car" spelled backward still spells "race car"? B. Did you know that "eat" is the only word that if you take the 1st letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense "ate"? C. And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants" and add just a few more letters, it spells out: "Go home you fucking free-loading, benefit-grabbing, kid-producing, violent, non-English speaking assholes and take those other fucking hairy-faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, goat-fucking, raggedy-ass bastards with you"? How weird is that???

10-18-2010, 12:27 PM	#911
The Monk Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia Posts: 49,900	SKY NEWS - Deadly Storm Strikes Quake-Hit Haiti Got to give God Credit, when he sets out to kill niggers, he does it with style!

10-18-2010, 12:30 PM	#912
The Monk Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia Posts: 49,900	Whats the difference between a dead baby and a rock? You cant fuck a rock!

10-18-2010, 12:31 PM	#913
The Monk Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia Posts: 49,900	My wife used to just nod and smile at my Bukkake jokes, mainly because she didn't know what it meant ... But then one day, it hit her.

10-18-2010, 12:32 PM	#914
The Monk Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia Posts: 49,900	What is most men's idea of marriage? A fucking expensive way to get your laundry done for free.

10-18-2010, 12:32 PM	#915
The Monk Humble & Awesome Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Western Australia Posts: 49,900	NEWS: Paris Hilton was denied entry into Japan following her guilty plea for cocaine possession. Hilton said she was upset that she couldn't get into Japan, and that she will now go to Tokyo instead.