Let’s Offend Someone…!!!

cod head · 05-23-2009, 05:28 AM

I read a book called 'The Secret Life of Adolf Hitler'. It told me things that I never knew. For instance, when Hitler was having sex he liked to pee on people. That put me right off him.

cod head · 05-23-2009, 05:29 AM

Mating call of a Cuckoo - "cuckoo, cuckoo"
Mating call of an Owl - "twit towoo, twit towoo"
Mating call of a Blackbird - "Go on Leeroy bang it up me arse!"

cod head · 05-23-2009, 05:29 AM

A woman went into hospital to have a fanny tuck. After the operation she received 3 cards while she was recovering. One was a get well card from her husband, one a card from the surgeon and a 3rd, which was a thank you card, from Ernie, on the burns unit thanking her for his new ears.

cod head · 05-23-2009, 05:30 AM

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"

cod head · 05-23-2009, 05:30 AM

A bloke asks his wife "what would you do if we won the lotto?" she said "I would take half and leave you." He said "excellent, we just won $12, heres $6 now fuck off"

cod head · 05-23-2009, 05:31 AM

85% of Scousers say they enjoy sex in the shower. The other 15% haven’t been to prison yet.

cod head · 05-23-2009, 05:32 AM

A bomb was found outside the El Mustafa Mosque in Stockport today. Police have urged the public not to panic as they have managed to push the bomb inside.

cod head · 05-23-2009, 05:32 AM

I'm going to watch my wedding video in reverse later. I love the part where my wife takes her ring off, walks backwards down the aisle, gets in the car and fucks off.

cod head · 05-23-2009, 05:34 AM

"Mummy,where does Poo come from?" "Well Son,when we eat something,it goes down into our tummies,gets all mushed up & comes out of our bottoms as poo." "Oh ok,then what about Tigger?!"

cod head · 05-23-2009, 05:34 AM

Today an Abbo was found nailed to a tree, stabbed six times and shot twice.

Redfern police said it's the worst case of suicide they had ever seen.

cod head · 05-23-2009, 05:35 AM

Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, 'get this out of me, give me drugs'.

She turns to the boyfriend and says 'You did this to me you fucker'.

He replied casually, 'If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said, 'Fuck off it'll be too painful', Now who's laughing'

rooster12979 · 05-23-2009, 04:19 PM

What do you tell a women with 2 black eyes?

Nothing. Shes already been told twice.

Vardar · 05-23-2009, 04:28 PM

Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?

Because she was a woman...

________
Sorry

Wolfeyes88 · 05-24-2009, 05:29 AM

A black guy and a hispanic guy are sitting in a car with no music, who's driving?

The cop...

Why do mexicans put those little tiny steering wheels on their cars? So they can drive with handcuffs on...

how does every racial joke start? With a white guy looking over their shoulder...

cod head · 06-30-2009, 05:34 AM

Definition of a true Greek man: someone who dates a girl twice and then fucks her brother.

05-23-2009, 05:28 AM	#1
cod head Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Nightmare on Neptune St. Posts: 1,047	Let’s Offend Someone…!!! I read a book called 'The Secret Life of Adolf Hitler'. It told me things that I never knew. For instance, when Hitler was having sex he liked to pee on people. That put me right off him. __________________ - my product is 50 times stronger than cocaine -

05-23-2009, 05:29 AM	#2
cod head Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Nightmare on Neptune St. Posts: 1,047	Mating call of a Cuckoo - "cuckoo, cuckoo" Mating call of an Owl - "twit towoo, twit towoo" Mating call of a Blackbird - "Go on Leeroy bang it up me arse!" __________________ - my product is 50 times stronger than cocaine -

05-23-2009, 05:29 AM	#3
cod head Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Nightmare on Neptune St. Posts: 1,047	A woman went into hospital to have a fanny tuck. After the operation she received 3 cards while she was recovering. One was a get well card from her husband, one a card from the surgeon and a 3rd, which was a thank you card, from Ernie, on the burns unit thanking her for his new ears. __________________ - my product is 50 times stronger than cocaine -

05-23-2009, 05:30 AM	#4
cod head Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Nightmare on Neptune St. Posts: 1,047	I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?" __________________ - my product is 50 times stronger than cocaine -

05-23-2009, 05:30 AM	#5
cod head Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Nightmare on Neptune St. Posts: 1,047	A bloke asks his wife "what would you do if we won the lotto?" she said "I would take half and leave you." He said "excellent, we just won $12, heres $6 now fuck off" __________________ - my product is 50 times stronger than cocaine -

05-23-2009, 05:31 AM	#6
cod head Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Nightmare on Neptune St. Posts: 1,047	85% of Scousers say they enjoy sex in the shower. The other 15% haven’t been to prison yet. __________________ - my product is 50 times stronger than cocaine -

05-23-2009, 05:32 AM	#7
cod head Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Nightmare on Neptune St. Posts: 1,047	A bomb was found outside the El Mustafa Mosque in Stockport today. Police have urged the public not to panic as they have managed to push the bomb inside. __________________ - my product is 50 times stronger than cocaine -

05-23-2009, 05:34 AM	#9
cod head Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Nightmare on Neptune St. Posts: 1,047	"Mummy,where does Poo come from?" "Well Son,when we eat something,it goes down into our tummies,gets all mushed up & comes out of our bottoms as poo." "Oh ok,then what about Tigger?!" __________________ - my product is 50 times stronger than cocaine -

05-23-2009, 05:35 AM	#11
cod head Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Nightmare on Neptune St. Posts: 1,047	Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, 'get this out of me, give me drugs'. She turns to the boyfriend and says 'You did this to me you fucker'. He replied casually, 'If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said, 'Fuck off it'll be too painful', Now who's laughing' __________________ - my product is 50 times stronger than cocaine -

05-23-2009, 04:19 PM	#12
rooster12979 Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 1,759	What do you tell a women with 2 black eyes? Nothing. Shes already been told twice.

05-23-2009, 04:28 PM	#13
Vardar Bi-ologically Insane Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: South Bethlehem Posts: 19,577	Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Because she was a woman... ________ Sorry

05-24-2009, 05:29 AM	#14
Wolfeyes88 This is just a saga now.. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Hell, Florida Posts: 816	A black guy and a hispanic guy are sitting in a car with no music, who's driving? The cop... Why do mexicans put those little tiny steering wheels on their cars? So they can drive with handcuffs on... how does every racial joke start? With a white guy looking over their shoulder...

06-30-2009, 05:34 AM	#15
cod head Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Nightmare on Neptune St. Posts: 1,047	Definition of a true Greek man: someone who dates a girl twice and then fucks her brother. __________________ - my product is 50 times stronger than cocaine -